Developing self-confidence is Only a matter of getting better at whatever you decide to work on


Developing self-confidence for some is scary and complicated. It doesn't have to be. Yes, it will take some time and most certainly will take effort, but when done right, it can be a wonderful adventure. How you see yourself today is not how you have to see yourself 1, 5, 10 years from now. You can change.

Let's start with a confidence definition: "Confidence is the belief you can rely on someone or something." And because we are talking about self-confidence, we're talking about you having the belief you can rely on yourself. That's certainly simple enough. So many things are simple to think about, but not so simple to accomplish.

Here's the foundation of developing self-confidence. Success is what builds self-confidence. Even small successes help make that happen. So you start small and work your way up to bigger successes, and then bigger successes, which along the way grows your self-confidence.

You see, for things to change, you need to change. Not all at once, but change nevertheless. And you do that by learning to champion a "Growth Mindset." A mindset where you believe you can learn something new and then, through practice, get better and better at it. Slight improvements over time grows to massive change.

Barrie Davenport has said it so well: ""Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better."

If you improve just 1% every day for a year you will improve 365%. That's three times better than when you began. Anyone can improve 1% per day on anything. Athletes know this. That's why they practice. Over and over again. If practice is good enough for athletes, it's good enough for you and me. Think Michael Jordan who was cut from his high school team as a freshman. Even so, he became what many believe to be the greatest basketball player of all time.

You can practice anything which means you can get better at anything. And, if you grow with small growth patterns, over time, it's easier to deal with being outside your comfort zone.



Four Techniques/Strategies You Can Use For Developing Self-Confidence.


So, pick a goal. Again, start with something small. I know, I know, you want to pick something big that will change your life for the better today. That's human nature. But that is not a good strategy at the beginning. When developing self-confidence, you really need to work up from the small and easy to the large and difficult. Our goal here is to turn the process into a habit. You need to get really good at it, and you need to feel comfortable with it. So for now, just pick something mundane. Perhaps a chore you know you should do around the house. A chore you just don't feel like doing. And we all have chores to do, so let's begin.

Four Self-Confidence Tips:

  1. Use the "What If" technique to see the benefit of getting the job done. What if you succeed? What benefits are going to accrue to you? How would that make you feel?
  2. Now that you feel good about the end result when you succeed, break your goal into "Small Steps." The smaller the better. Make sure the steps are so small you almost feel foolish. But know that the smaller the step, the less resistance you are going to feel from your subconscious and your old mindset. Again, the smaller the step, the better.
  3. Now do some Visualization where you see yourself accomplishing the small steps. With this technique you relax your body and mind and see yourself accomplishing each step. As you visualize each step, find that step very easy to accomplish. Lo and behold, you see yourself not fighting yourself. After all, the step you are taking in your mind is very small.  Visualize yourself going through all the steps to accomplish your goal. You start feeling the self-confidence that comes from success.
  4. Now you have seen yourself accomplishing your goal in your mind's eye and how that feels. You have broken the goal into very small steps, and you have visualized yourself going through each step. Now, it is time to take the steps in reality. You have done it in your mind's eye. Now, you are making everything real. As you take each step, focus only on the present step. Nothing else. Focus is important. And remember, each step should be small enough that you are not getting push back from your subconscious and old mindset.

Reading the four confidence building tips above is one thing. But reading is not enough. You have to take the steps for real. And it's good to do the process often. Practice using these steps over and over again. Forming good habits that help you build your self-confidence is important for your future happiness. Never forget that repetition is the mother of skill.

The following book from Amazon is my favorite self-help book of all time. It makes developing self-confidence and working outside your comfort zone so much easier. You don't have to rely on will-power to get things done. Even changing establish habits make things easier. Yes, it's about taking small steps. The link is to the Kindle edition.

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